I've wanted to start a new poem in Villanelle form, but I haven't had time to hammer it out. We may have to try a summer edition of group poetry writing because my inspiration is so cold and snowy. (I'm a Kansan. I am from the High Plains. I miss the sun. I hate trying to live without the sun.) I feel like this is a sub par offering, but I hope that you can give it a try. Here's your first stanza:
The sky sags down to touch the ground (refrain 1) (rhyme A)
Weighed like a cedar bough heavy with snow (line 2) (rhyme B)
graying out the sun until it's not found (refrain 2) (rhyme A)
The next stanza should be:
Line 5 with rhyme A
Line 6 rhyme B
The sky sags down to touch the ground
I look forward to reading what comes next. You can tell me later if you find this form difficult. (I sort of did. And hopefully, someone is still reading since I haven't been very faithful in writing).
12 comments:
The wind unfolds with a phantom sound
Conjurring earth and debris as its show
The sky sags down to touch the ground
flying refuse that blows around
the sky cries wildly but does not know
graying out the sun until it's not found
Mists confuse and clouds confound
stretching over the earth below
the sky sags down to touch the ground
(I am confused, did Ben mess up?)
(I don't think so... he used refrain 2 like he should have. The only thing I noticed was that I forgot to correct the meter problem)
(sorry, I was wrong, for some reason I thought that every other time the first line rhymed with the 2nd line in the first verse...sorry it's tax season so I looked at the rules quickly!ps your verses are beautiful!)
and we still need the last few lines...meter schmeter, as long as we're rich
twisting sky to be spring bound
waiting light so darkness grow
graying out the sun until it's not found.
(sorry it took me so long)
The north wind moves south with cold so profound!
The sky's cloud veil hides a blue voice,"hello?"
But the sky sags down to touch the ground,
Graying out the sun until its not found.
so now, someone with some energy, put it all together in one comment or post so we can see what we have wrought
The sky sags down to touch the ground
Weighed like a cedar bough heavy with snow
graying out the sun until it's not found
The wind unfolds with a phantom sound
Conjurring wind and debris as its show
The sky sags down to touch the ground
flying refuse that blows around
the sky cries wildly but does not know
graying out the sun until it's not found
Mists confuse and clouds confound
stretching over the earth below
the sky sags down to touch the ground
twisting sky to be spring bound
waiting light so darkness grow
graying out the sun until it's not found
The north wind moves south with cold so profound!
The sky's cloud veil hides a blue voice, "hello?"
But the sky sags down to touch the ground
Graying out the sun until it's not found.
Post a Comment