Thumbing my way to Tuesday

I don't understand what this day has against me. We had never met before and yet from the moment that my alarm went off and 7 more times after that in 9 minute intervals, the day had it in for me and especially my thumbs. There was no breakfast food in my fridge or my cupboard. When I arrived at the office at my usual time which to everyone else is 20 minutes late, I had to wait for the coffee to finish brewing before I left for court. I gathered my files and cut my left thumb on a file. No, not the paper inside the file, the actual file. It was deep. It was wide. It required a bandage. Then, the 9 o'clock court hearing decided not to come. At lunch I ordered a chicken fried chicken salad which is what I always get. Sometimes the chicken is warmer than I like at this restaurant, but today, it was piping hot with melted cheese on top. The waitress insisted that the salad always comes this way and in the interest of not being poisoned, I did not send the salad back. It was yucky and I was hungry. This afternoon included a paper cut to my right thumb. This evening I cut my right thumb on the razor edge of the parchment paper which I was using for baking cookies. I read the cookie exchange instructions wrong, or, more accurately, I stopped reading them after the first sentence. So I didn't bring enough plates of cookies for everyone. So good-bye Monday. My thumbs will be better off without you.


Ode to my Thumb
Oh thumb, thou art opposable
you are the appendage envy
of every mammal.
I prick thee, I split thee
Yet thou art still holding
my pen, purse, popsicle,
for me and my needing.
Thumb, you are thumbthing special!