Thursday, November 30, 2006

haiku hiatus (haikutus)

I have nothing to post, but since my poets seem to be growing tired of the haiku I will make another offering. I note that one reader suggested that we avoid the epic poem, but the sonnet, the sestina, the ode, free verse, and any other form you are interested in for your self-expression is available. Do you think you are ready to write the next stanza in sestina form?:

I pretend that it is a much deeper snow
So that walking on the mundane sidewalk
Is less a quickly cleared and salted town
And more a prairie pioneer trial
Instead of white gloves and a black coat
I am fighting the wind, headed for the barn

Anyway, it would be really sad if the poem never ends.

21 comments:

lobiwan said...

But the white that mostly covers my barn
Is a translucent plastic rather than snow
There were no traps set to provide my coat
And strangers built my sidewalk
The highway not so much a trial(sic?)
As a twenty minute portal to town

Unknown said...

Pushed off the sidewalk
Face pressed into the snow
Wishing to be wresting in a hay barn
Dawning that I'd be in hay fever town
Burning ice on face, I accept my trial,
go inside, take off my wet coat

Ben said...

And wool, though wet, is still a coat
And strangers also use my sidewalk
And that is not so much a trial
But there is also snow
I am the only one in town
Who does not own a barn

mllr said...

The cows moo by the neighbors barn
I see him struggling with his coat
As I begin my journey into town
A pasture path is nicer than a sidewalk
Specially when covered with ice and snow
But daily such is my trial

Shauna said...

Loath to face my trial
With muddy boots I plod to the barn
Outside the sheep shiver in the snow
Though each wears a fluffy coat
Ice from the water tank makes a slippery sidewalk
I pour heavy buckets of grain into the feeders, and then the sheep go to town

mllr said...

I wondered if the original trial was meant to be trail...??? it would have been easier to work with

linda jean said...

[No, the word intended was trial which was chosen because it looks and sounds a little like trail. The word is referring back to the walking. The walking can't be a trail, but it can be a trial. However, when I chose the word trial I thought someone could be clever and morph it into trail... violating the rules, but abiding by the spirit](note the non-poem brackets)

linda jean said...

[Also, I'm trying to convey that my life is too easy, and rereading it I suppose trail could work, but it doesn't convey the desire for difficulty]

mllr said...

[please excuse comment six, which should be bracketed as it is not part of the poem, still waiting on the envoi]

linda jean said...

[here's your envoi:]

The real snow is thin, I can see the sidewalk
That doesn't lead to a barn, but through a town,
Full of fashionable coats and easy trials.

Ben said...

{[(this poem is clean}])

i liked the trial/trail debate that matt brought up but when jo cast her answer with abandon i decided to go with it, and after i posted i realized i had been too timid...the woes of poem regret...i am ashamed

lobiwan said...

[what I liked so much about trial is that when I first read it I read 'trail' but I thought it conveyed exactly the same meaning since nothing was ever so trial-filled as a pioneer trail Also Joanna broke the rules and I thought someone should yell at her.]

Unknown said...

[how did I break the rules, I'm too lazy to go back and read..]

mllr said...

Jo-421653, should be 615243, you can't change it now because the rest of us just believed you

Ben said...

we recognized it, but we accepted it

Ben said...

i wrote a poem ending with one
and then a line ending two
but along came three
and brought me to four
when i thought i heard five
behind the door with six

but there's no stopping six
when he gets hold of one
and we find five
always following along with two
and there's danger in four
when he can't find three

so i thought about three
while we stopped to help six
and my dog thought he was four
but it's turns out he's one
and i am really five
though i thought i was two

...

mllr said...

I felt blessed when I had two
But, Lainey came and I liked three
I grew up thinking that I would have five
Never even contemplating going to six
And it would be sad to only have one
Spencer was perfect so we stopped at four.

Unknown said...

[ben that was a beautiful illustration until my mother ruined it with her perfect child]

mllr said...

[all my children are perfect]

Shauna said...

[I have to beg people to comment on my blog and you're up to 20 on just one post!]

Ben said...

one post haikutus
while snow falls softly outside
sestina funness