I have nothing to post, but since my poets seem to be growing tired of the haiku I will make another offering. I note that one reader suggested that we avoid the epic poem, but the sonnet, the sestina, the ode, free verse, and any other form you are interested in for your self-expression is available. Do you think you are ready to write the next stanza in sestina form?:
I pretend that it is a much deeper snow
So that walking on the mundane sidewalk
Is less a quickly cleared and salted town
And more a prairie pioneer trial
Instead of white gloves and a black coat
I am fighting the wind, headed for the barn
Anyway, it would be really sad if the poem never ends.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
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21 comments:
But the white that mostly covers my barn
Is a translucent plastic rather than snow
There were no traps set to provide my coat
And strangers built my sidewalk
The highway not so much a trial(sic?)
As a twenty minute portal to town
Pushed off the sidewalk
Face pressed into the snow
Wishing to be wresting in a hay barn
Dawning that I'd be in hay fever town
Burning ice on face, I accept my trial,
go inside, take off my wet coat
And wool, though wet, is still a coat
And strangers also use my sidewalk
And that is not so much a trial
But there is also snow
I am the only one in town
Who does not own a barn
The cows moo by the neighbors barn
I see him struggling with his coat
As I begin my journey into town
A pasture path is nicer than a sidewalk
Specially when covered with ice and snow
But daily such is my trial
Loath to face my trial
With muddy boots I plod to the barn
Outside the sheep shiver in the snow
Though each wears a fluffy coat
Ice from the water tank makes a slippery sidewalk
I pour heavy buckets of grain into the feeders, and then the sheep go to town
I wondered if the original trial was meant to be trail...??? it would have been easier to work with
[No, the word intended was trial which was chosen because it looks and sounds a little like trail. The word is referring back to the walking. The walking can't be a trail, but it can be a trial. However, when I chose the word trial I thought someone could be clever and morph it into trail... violating the rules, but abiding by the spirit](note the non-poem brackets)
[Also, I'm trying to convey that my life is too easy, and rereading it I suppose trail could work, but it doesn't convey the desire for difficulty]
[please excuse comment six, which should be bracketed as it is not part of the poem, still waiting on the envoi]
[here's your envoi:]
The real snow is thin, I can see the sidewalk
That doesn't lead to a barn, but through a town,
Full of fashionable coats and easy trials.
{[(this poem is clean}])
i liked the trial/trail debate that matt brought up but when jo cast her answer with abandon i decided to go with it, and after i posted i realized i had been too timid...the woes of poem regret...i am ashamed
[what I liked so much about trial is that when I first read it I read 'trail' but I thought it conveyed exactly the same meaning since nothing was ever so trial-filled as a pioneer trail Also Joanna broke the rules and I thought someone should yell at her.]
[how did I break the rules, I'm too lazy to go back and read..]
Jo-421653, should be 615243, you can't change it now because the rest of us just believed you
we recognized it, but we accepted it
i wrote a poem ending with one
and then a line ending two
but along came three
and brought me to four
when i thought i heard five
behind the door with six
but there's no stopping six
when he gets hold of one
and we find five
always following along with two
and there's danger in four
when he can't find three
so i thought about three
while we stopped to help six
and my dog thought he was four
but it's turns out he's one
and i am really five
though i thought i was two
...
I felt blessed when I had two
But, Lainey came and I liked three
I grew up thinking that I would have five
Never even contemplating going to six
And it would be sad to only have one
Spencer was perfect so we stopped at four.
[ben that was a beautiful illustration until my mother ruined it with her perfect child]
[all my children are perfect]
[I have to beg people to comment on my blog and you're up to 20 on just one post!]
one post haikutus
while snow falls softly outside
sestina funness
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