Thursday, September 13, 2007

ways to insert ineptitude into everyday life

  1. be easily distracted by minutia.
  2. make sure putting items away means "where ever it was last time you needed it".
  3. be easily bored by details (unless they are irrelevant minutiae).
  4. buy a nice thesaurus and never remember where you were the last time you needed it (see number 2).
  5. make sure your coping mechanism for being overwhelmed by too much to do is to think of something new to do that doesn't really need to be done.
  6. never think of supper until you are hungry.
  7. never think of a task until it requires immediate attention and you have less time than required to complete it.
  8. create art from anything in your house.
  9. own too many shoes (see number 2).
  10. forget what day it is.
  11. play distracting music whenever you need to concentrate.
  12. daydream.
  13. enjoy your dictionary so much that it's a 15 to 30 minute distraction every time you look up a word (wow, I never notice how similar the spelling of "hummus" and "humus" are).
  14. stare at ceilings.
  15. make up alternate endings to important information people say to you.
  16. enjoy the sound of "slipshod" so much that it no longer sounds like criticism.
  17. never, never finish anything.
  18. find the easiest route to completion and be a perfectionist.
  19. ponder your teddy bear's inner thoughts.
  20. laugh out loud every 20 minutes because everything serious is hilarious.
  21. have a lousy sense of smell.

2 comments:

lobiwan said...

22. Join a fantasy football league.

malh said...

23. PLAN to be organized.