The cottonwood and her seed

The cottonwood tufts were everywhere along the river and also in this spot called something bland like "middle spring"(every point of interest on the grassland was named something forgettably bland. I tried to look it up, but I was unsuccessful). It was in this area that I saw the enormous cottonwood (though I'm told there is a bigger one in somebody's backyard). I also found another pump, which was easy to work and I refilled two water bottles in half the time it took me to get two swallows out of the other pump.

I wondered if I could photograph the ridiculous amount of tufts floating in the air. I was pleasantly surprised by this picture.

Point of Rocks

Point of Rocks (it's descriptive, stop criticizing).

Various views of the Cimarron Grassland's "money shot". Everything you read on-line about it will have a photo of this spot. It's no wonder, you can see it for miles a way and in a land of few landmarks, it stands out. When I first arrived and I was planning to turn right on Road 700, I struggled when I saw the point of rocks in the distance requiring a left turn onto Road 700. It is a lovely place and at the top of this point you can see a good deal of the river and get an idea of where you are going. A pretty important feature for groups of people traveling in wagons. I enjoyed hiking here and it was a great spot to finish my day. No more crankiness, I was just happy that I got out of bed and on the road.

Final Perspectives

I felt like I would be happier with bigger feet. It was muddy here so instead of walking around the cattle guard I walked over it.

This was the last stop on my trek of the "Santa Fe Trail Companion Trail".

I love empty highways.

sunshine and glue, paper and hearts

I went with no format on placement of these photos which may have been a mistake, but I'm not waiting for them to upload again (I hate made up words like upload. Maybe "transmit" would be more pleasing). I just thought I'd share again with the collages I've been making since they've vastly improved since the last time I posted and since there are so many of you who never stop by. What's great for me about these creations as opposed to painting is that they're completely two dimensional. I've honestly never tried to paint, but I was recently gifted a watercolors set, so I'll let you know if I ever get brave enough to try that. Anyway, this is something new for me since I've never attempted visual art and I'm actually enjoying it, but there are loads of half cut up periodicals in my house now and millions of tiny pieces of paper.
I really ought to go back to embroidery for my tactile outlet, but I'm really enjoying the smell of glue and not poking myself with a needle. I have have ruined some pants doing this, however, which I never did with embroidery. I think maybe it's the office job that pushes me to create something wholly unrelated and vastly less ugly. You can click on the heart to try and read everything if you want, but it's mostly just nonsense. The only funny thing on it says something like "if the foot were the anatomical metaphor for love instead of the heart, what would it mean to say 'he walked all over me'?"

wishing for wishes

This noon-hour-written post is owing to the gloomy cloud in my office today. I'm working in my office all day so I'm in need of levity. I have turned off the melancholy tunes, or tried (my choices get pretty slim when I ban melancholy). In the hope of dispelling the cloud, I am writing.

I am hoping to get some questions answered regarding attitudes and belief about wishes. This is for my own research and the result will hardly be scientific since I'm friends or kin to everyone who comments. (Anyone is welcome to comment).

Dear readers, please answer any or all of the questions asked:

1. Do you make a wish before blowing out you birthday candles?
2. Do you believe your wish will come true when you blow out all of you candles in one breath?
3. Do you have any "typical wishes" (like a swimming pool or happiness) that you have found yourself making on multiple birthdays? What are your typical wishes?
4. What are your atypical wishes?

Just to clarify, there is a difference between needs and desires. Prayers can encompass aspects of both, but wishes are just fun wants.

You must answer my questions.

In addition to a great deal of flower planting and yanking out vines, crashing a family reunion in NWKS, and watching a Christian rap show which was cut short by lightning, I attended a Riders in the Sky benefit concert for Greensburg this weekend. Here's the question: Does loving Riders in the Sky make you a super (or "uber") nerd, or does it make you super (or "uber") cool?

one legal quip followed by a concert

Yesterday was Bob Dylan's birthday. Speaking of Bob Dylan, an important legal precedent was created last Friday by the Kansas Court of Appeals. In State v. Birth (boring legal link), the Court ruled that it was error to quote Bob Dylan lyrics in closing argument. I realize that this information is completely inapplicable to most of you, but I am very concerned about the limitations being placed on closing argument and whether there is a genre of music that the court would prefer. Another possibility is that the babyboom generation court finds it offensive for the DA to quote Bob lyrics in support of itself. (If you are like me, you had lots of ideas about what a case titled "state v. birth" might concern, and none of them dealt with Bob Dylan. In fact, most of the people I know who read this opinion disagree with me about its far-reaching ban on Dylan lyrics during jury trial).

I spent some time singing to my 4 year-old nephew, J. on Wednesday (if you were around Wednesday, you know what a long day it was for him and for everyone), including "Blowin' in the Wind". He kept requesting another when each song ended. I began with "Swing Low Sweet Chariot"(some links allow you to have a little sing along at your computer) followed by "Beautiful Kittenfish" from "The Cat in the Hat" cartoon. I then switched it up with "Can't Smile Without You" and when I finished, J. said "that song was too long". Since Barry Mannilow was one of my favorites at his age it was a little disappointing to hear (I'll have to try "I'm not Lisa" another favorite from that time in my life just to see if we maybe still could have been friends had we been 4 at the same time). As mentioned before I sang a Dylan song, but I always have trouble mixing lyrics from different lines and it doesn't come out quite right, but J. was ok with that. I ended the set with "Three Ways" by the Wallflowers. The song has 3 verses. J. wants me to come up with another verse. If you have any ideas let me know. The song follows a simple pattern and verse one is about getting out of a box, verse two is about getting off of a merry-go-round and verse three is about getting off of a burning bridge.

Jacob's Well

I visited Jacob's Well this weekend and the Big Basin in Clark County. I got a late start and was sort of regretting making the drive until I reached my turn. The grass was beautiful, there were loads of flowers, and the buffalo had recently calved. This is an amazing spot because it's so unexpected.

It's wonderful the way it completely surprises you every time because it's so hidden. Reaching it reminds me of the first time I drove through Kansas City and saw skyscrapers or driving to Colorado and suddenly seeing mountains. This is a little better surprise because you cannot see it until you arrive.

This is Jacob's Well. It's just a little nook of water surrounded by cottonwoods. It's never been known to go dry and is the subject of legend. My favorite is that the well is inhabited by blind fish. The water isn't flowing and I'm pretty sure I'd have to be blind to swim in it so the blind fish doesn't seem so far-fetched. It's sad to admit because I'd swim just about anywhere.

Kansas Postcard Day

These buffalo and the one above had to get off of the road to let me pass. I was reminded about my true weakness as a farm girl: fear of large mammals. You have no idea how much courage it took me to get out of the car to take these pictures. My best guess is that this fear harkens back to a story of our horse biting someone. One of my older siblings explained that animals can sense fear and they get angry when they sense fear. I think I was around age 4 or 5. Sometimes the fear that I'm afraid is just as great as the underlying fear.

Sightseeing

The walk down to the well.

Mixed grass, some flowers, and a few cacti.

There were no sunflowers in bloom, so this will have to do.

On the road (and what I found there)

This is road going east/southeast away from the well. I had never driven this part and walked it on this day instead. The website I linked to above seems to indicate that the road ends at the well, but I walked past the well and this is where I walked. (Maybe it was a road to Brigadoon if I'd only kept going). This is a mixed grass prairie with short and medium grasses. I can't think of any other publicly owned mixed grass areas in Kansas. Are there any others?




As you walk the road becomes more and more grassy as less and less travelers drive and walk this section. There are windmills scattered in the area for watering the buffalo since they are not free to roam away from here if the water dries up. One other thing that you will notice is the way the road disappears around the bend. It calls to you "come and see what's next".




Do you recognize me? I was unable to identify this critter. It's hard to tell in the photo, but he has been completely flattened.

Fighting Crowds

You can see the whole basin from this point. It feels like the earth is giving you a hug or if that's too granola for you, that God put this spot here for you to reach so that you could experience him hugging you through creation, or if that's still too much, it feels like a real pretty place to be. The marker points to Jacob's well.

These are pictures of the folks visiting with me. I'm not sure if you can see the red car in the distance at the marker. I am east of the marker here.

This is a view from the marker looking toward Jacob's well. That car belongs to a famous Kansan I passed driving up to the marker. It's incredible that so few people are here when I visit, but I don't really mind.

stray hairs, stable winds

Windy came with me, of course. I didn't wear a hat because I need a new visor and if I wore a regular hat than I would never achieve "summer blonde". My chin remains a mystery.

Greensburg

In Kansas, the men began to dig
with their hands seeking water
the thing that sustains
and people gathered their lives
around this well and lived
finding meteorites and peace
on this plain
But a vicious cloud spun over them
razing what had been built
the 1000 pound meteorite
fell off of its table
the people who had gathered
here to live were like a well
deeply dug, sustaining
they were watched by a world
and that world wondered
whether or not they would remain
but the people of the well know
that hands are all that is needed
to begin digging.

compare and contrast

Motto Rejection

My nephew was asking about personal mottoes this weekend and he assigned me one based on a dislike for whatever my answer had been. At this time, however, I reject the motto assigned me: "If you are going to buy a chandelier, make sure you have a ceiling". The pragmatism exemplified in the motto is no longer applicable. I am working to escape my nay saying self. (Sorry, S). I am chastising my 12 year old self that proudly announced to her little brothers that she was retiring from play. I am renouncing the 19 year old girl who wrote in her college diary that she was finished with dreaming. I am repudiating the bubble-filling-LSAT-test-taker. I will no longer be stymied by practicality. Though pragmatism does have its role, it is not the only consideration, and should not be my primary consideration.

Mottoes which succinctly capture this approach will be given due consideration.

Friday reading

Boring legal link.

Dandelion Break

So, my neighbors probably hate me, or at least hate my lawn care. The dandelions remind of Bloom County. It's too bad they are despised as a weed because they really are nice. And they love the wind like I do. My copy of Bloom County Babylon is falling apart, though I realized today that it's 20 years old. Yikes. The world is in need of a "mass dandelion break".

No horse, no bike, just shoes

I decided to go outside this weekend. Friday was around 80 degrees with clear blue sunshine. I even took a break at work so that I could go on a walk. I began scheming about finding a place to go hiking on Saturday and I ended up at Scott Park (weather forecasts weren't good and it's easy to get here and get home). The one in the upper left hand corner is me. Only I didn't have a stick and I wore shoes. There were no horseback riders and bicyclers on the trail. There weren't any renegade motor bikers either. In fact, I did not encounter a single soul on this trail, remnants of souls perhaps, but no human beings. The nice thing about not seeing anyone on the trails is that you can let yourself run wildly down the hills without fear of running into anyone or looking foolish should you fall (I didn't fall down, but I wouldn't have run at all had I thought someone might have seen if I did).

The wind came with me. As you know, it's one of my favorite companions, but the sunshine was missing and it certainly wasn't 80 degrees. The clouds were churning making me think I was foolish for hiking with the chance of thunderstorm so high. I think the wind gust may have been around 50 mph, but it's at a lake so there was none of that sand-stinging-your-skin pain. Planning Saturday based on Friday is no good, but Saturday should always be about feeling the wind in your face, hot or cold.

There were interesting sites. I love the way ants carry away yucky things. Taking a walk or a hike reminds you to look at things like this. Maybe you wouldn't enjoy looking at this, but there are other things to stop and look at, whether for admiration or for wonder. As Ralph Waldo Emerson observed, "there is no object so foul that intense light will not make beautiful". You should stop on hikes to look at things because being here is the point. There were lovelier things on the trail, but a hollowed carcass of a centipede (or whatever was its species) with ants crawling all over it is pretty fun.
My sock did not survive the hike. I didn't get a blister from this even though I felt the hole pretty early on in the going. I wore socks that were more appropriate for a walk in lycra pants. I'm fairly certain I bought these socks to wear with my lycra pants (actually lycra capris). There will always be things in your life that make you want to stop or that keep you from starting. Your socks or your messy house may try to keep you from going outside or even try to shorten your time spent hiking, but ignore them. Ignore everything that prevents you from taking a moment to climb to the top and look around. I even accept that I shouldn't consider whether or not there are others present when I make my decision to throw out my arms and run wildly down the decline.

I knew blue sky, and you clouds, are no blue sky

"We are never tired, so long as we can see far enough" Emerson (it should be the Haskell County motto). The lake is formed from a manmade dam. Nature can't always escape man, but the bluffs seemed to be doing their best. Next time I hike this place though I might bring along a trash bag to pick up the random cans of Keystone Light and Coors.


The rushing water coming out of a pipe into a creek on private property was a happy opportunity to touch the water, something I can never resist. This water is not snow melt, so I didn't even have to play a game to see how long I could keep my feet submerged. (this photo is also for Shauna, who lived with my foot photos for a time).

Little details

I don't know to whom the nest belonged, but most of the outcroppings have these little eroded nooks for use by whomever thinks he is capable of living in them. I couldn't find myself a nook that would suit my needs, that's why I came home.


I call this one "Half-self portrait". You could also call it "A Dream of silence". I like the way my arms are reflected in the sunglasses.

Pueblo ReRuins

I was a little disappointed to read that the Pueblo ruins were a reconstruction. I thought about how a time machine could have fixed everything, but then I decided that the State Historical Society was a time machine.

The Steele homestead (or not)*

I started here. (Not my day, but my trek to see the old homestead). Homesteaders were pretty amazing people. I would add a little fearless because all that I can think of seeing this at the top of a hill is : tornado fodder. There aren't stairs most of the way up.

I arrived here with a note to myself to take better care of my body, and a reminder not to grab yuccas when your feet start to slip.


The inside was lined with benches. I don't think that the Steele's lived with them in their house, but I didn't have a tour guide so I can't be certain.

* I don't really think that this is a homestead, but maybe something built more recently for visitors. It did seem really odd, but after reading the site about the park I think this isn't really anything historic, which makes the Steeles seem like much more sensible people. They did a nice job making it feel rustic. It is one of my failings to just explain things in my mind and accept those explanations as truth. I suppose you should be warned about me.

"Be kind to her in your cave"

My mythology knowledge is pretty soft. Any thoughts on what "Athinian cave" is located in a wooded area (seems tranquil) and inside is a monster/horror of some type, tongueless? This line may or may not have some significance: "Little snake, little snake, what a pretty pair/ We make". I was reading a Kenneth Patchen poem and it refers to this cave throughout. Anyway there are bad, bad things in the cave, but I feel like I'm just guessing about which cave it is.

Lilacs out of the dead land

Morning...

Noon...

Evening.

I'm awake and I'm writing

It's wet outside with a light dusting of snow. I suppose I'll have to get used to the idea if the forecasters know anything about the rest of the day. I had another accident at work this week. I'm not trying to hurt myself I'm just clumsy, especially when I have the large travel mug filled with hot coffee and I take off the safety lid so that it will cool off a little bit faster. Fortunately I had cleaned off my desk last week and so the only thing that got ruined was a business card which I only use to give out the fax number at the office. A statute book is also permanently stained. When I fell down the stairs at work I was going to refill an empty coffee mug, so I guess the conclusion is that coffee drinking can be dangerous. I learned during that fall that emptiness is not always what it seems in that I still spilled coffee on the wall even though the mug was "empty". I learned this time that the safety lid is there for my protection and I shouldn't blithely throw off those things which are designed for my benefit.

Easter was a sleepy day. I went to church at 7:45, ate breakfast at my parents' house and napped under an electric blanket. I was awakened by a niece who wanted to give me an old driver's licence which expired in 2000 (I was wearing my dad's flannel shirt and my earrings didn't match in the picture). I read a book called "The World's Great Letters". It was published in 1940 and was a book my mom had given to me a long time ago which I had left behind without having really read much of it. Now that I've read a lot of the book, it has come home with me. The book contained letters from Edgar Allen Poe about his drinking, a letter from Lenin regarding Stalin's leadership abilities and a letter from Thomas Mann about being stripped of his academic credentials from the University of Bonn during the Nazi rise to power. Slightly anti-social of me to spend so much of the day reading, but it felt like a real day off because of it. I did go out and roast marshmallows at one point, but the wind was bitter.

The desert I made was a success in spite of my attmepts to sabatoge it during its creation (I spilled half of the crust on the floor, and went ahead and made "Awesome Easter Desert" with a spotty crust). The day I shopped for ingredients I bought vitamin E tablets to sqeeze onto the dry patch on my face. I realized after applying it a couple of times that the awful smell was unusual and that it came from the fish oil that was added to these tablets. I guess I didn't read the bottle very well in the store.

That's all, I think I have time to do some reading before I have to go to work and do the things that I do.

Little Gidding

My mother wanted me to find her this poem so that she could read the whole thing. A portion of it was used in a forward to a book that she is reading.

hard freeze in april

Little tulips I know how you feel.

Good Friday

As usual I am working today. Here are some links to read today.
And a song since we've been talking about Johnny.
Any other suggestions for reading today?

repeating sugar and tangerines

The server is down at the office. One of the things that is working on my computer is the disc player, which I favor over my unreliable little portable thing (sometimes when I hit play it says NO DISC... there is a disc to play, I think maybe it doesn't really like music). Today I put in The Wallflowers Bringing Down the Horse. I love that cd, but I got stuck on "Josephine". I probably listened to it 20 times today. It seems a peculiar thing that sometimes I get stuck just wanting to listen to one song, but I suppose that's how #1's and Your Hit Parade works. So I was pondering my other repeat songs. It happens a lot to me because you can just hit repeat with cds. (I probably need to upgrade to an MP3 player, but I am technologically inept and have reached the stage in my adulthood where nothing makes sense that's new... a little early maybe?). Anyway, for my enjoyment I made a list. I know that I'm missing a bunch, but sometimes a list can be too long and I think I could spend a long time on this one.

1. "Three Ways" The Wallflowers (simple, true)
2. "Bad" U2 (lyrics that spin your head a little, but comfort)
3. "Fake Plastic Trees" Radiohead (happily, it doesn't fit right now, but there were times when it was perfect)
4. "When the Man Comes Around" Johnny Cash (literal interpretation of Revelation... it's just cool)
5. "Back of Your Hand" Dwight Yoakam (Sad, just stinking sad)
6. "Hard to Get" Rich Mullins (Every song on the Jesus Record has been on repeat at least once, the demo tracks of course)
7. "Reflecting Light" Sam Phillips ("the moon's never seen me before")
8. "Relapse" Adam Again (Spooky sad. )
9. "Gun" Uncle Tupelo ("my heart it was a gun, but it's unloaded now")
10. "Stone" Adam Again (sad... didn't realize they'd get two. I didn't even mention "Worldwide" or "River on Fire")
11. "Here You Come Again" Dolly Parton (Hee hee hee, but it's true)
12. "Moonshadow" Cat Stevens ("did it take long to find me?")
13. "Road to Ensenada" Lyle Lovett (I can hardly listen to the rest of the cd because I always want to hear that one, and it's a great cd).
14. "How Good it can Get" The Wallflowers (i've spent so much time wondering how good it can get)

I just reread it and it's an odd little list. Obviously my repeats can be a bit influenced by melancholy.